She's hot, but will he stray

If good looks ensured a happy marriage then the glam world would have had fewer divorces. However, that doesn't seem to be the case, especially with men, says a report. The study says that the presence of a glamourous wife doesn't mean that hubby dearest will not look away.




No wonder then that hotties like Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria Parker and Victoria Beckham have had to confront a cheating spouse. Obviously, just looks can't ensure fidelity in a relationship. Experts feel that good looks play a minuscule role in the success of any marriage.

One of my friends, who we considered the prettiest among us, went through a series of failed relationships. Even later when she got married, it didn't last for long. It really surprised us all because we always thought that she being the prettiest of the lot would find it easier to find a great match and have a good marriage." So, while most marriages may begin with either of the spouse being charmed by the others' looks, as it progresses, other things like compatibility and trust become the key words. These things affect the fate of any marriage say relationship experts.

No relationship is picture perfect. Every relationship needs to be worked on." She further adds that there are various reasons for a marriage to fail. Not all marriages fail because of the lack of compatibility. She adds, "Yes, it does help if both partners pay attention to their appearance and not just take each other for granted after marriage." Men also agree that eventually it's the company they keep that matters. Says Jayesh Bhatia, a banker, "Men definitely will give a goodlooking woman their attention easily, but that does not mean that they are going to be faithful to her forever.


If that had been the case then none of the marriages in Hollywood would have failed. The reason can be anything from the husband having a roving eye to sheer incompatibility, but good looks don't guarantee a successful marriage."

Why men love 'bitches'

Sugar and spice isn’t always nice. A dash of hot ‘n’ sour is what turns a bland dish into a gastronomic delight. Likewise, in the dating game, just being nice to your man doesn’t make him more devoted; at times you need to be the ‘bitch’ to walk down the Valentine path.
That, in a nutshell, is best-selling author and columnist Sherry Argov’s premise of her seminal books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches . “Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, has confidence and dreams of her own,” says Sherry. “They don’t want women who are needy and desperate for approval.”
So the key to conduct new-age relationships is: discover the feisty attitude “that will turn you into a diva from a doormat,” says Sherry.

Why nice girls finish last
Ever wondered why despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat like a dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier — aka ‘The bitch?’ It’s possibly because: »You are making it too obvious that you are looking to find a man and your happiness is dependent on that. »You are unable to be alone.
»You don’t want to wait for the right person. Your impatience leads you to rush into a situation you wouldn’t have chosen otherwise.

Do men like strong women?
The general consensus is that men get intimidated by strong, opinionated women who pose a challenge. But the truth is that any extreme is a turnoff. Whether you are the super aggressive sort or the dreamy, shy type, extreme behaviour signals insecurity. On the contrary, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. So to woo the love of your life, be someone he desires. And he can’t desire something that is too easily available. It doesn’t mean you have to be unnecessarily aggressive or too stand-offish. It simply means you must be in control and keep him guessing. Besides, never forget the golden rule of relationships: You don’t marry a perfect person. You marry an interesting person. And Sherry gives you the guide to be exactly that.

The ‘bitches’ don’t...
»Call or text him frequently
»Ask where he is or what he’s doing »Say ‘You don’t call me enough,’ or, ‘You never tell me you love me.’ Unpredictability is your asset. Don’t let your loved one decode you easily
» See a guy every night of the week. A woman who is easy won’t scratch his competitive itch »Agree with everything he says. When you never express your opinion, a man starts feeling bored
»Go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having a drink. To be his ‘steady’, let him come track you down
» Get mad when he doesn’t call you in four days
»Rearrange your schedule to spend time with him
»Be rude because being considerate is more effective. But doesn’t mean you have to compromise yourself
The bitches DOs

Walk the tightrope...
...between being intimidating and independent by being feminine, yet quietly strong. When you don’t telegraph or make obvious what your strengths and weakness are, your partner won’t be able to read you. And when a man can’t read a woman fully, he respects her more. It’s not about demeanour, it’s about self-control. A woman with self-control has power and men are turned on by that.

Eliminate the third angle
Worried about finishing second best in the love race? Well, first ensure you are the one he is amorous about. If he meets you and is crazy for you, other women should be a non-issue. If you are number 2 for any length of time, it means there are “too many queens in the castle.” Then, just walk out. Calmly tell him the relationship is “no longer interesting” and wish him luck. This resonates self-worth and dignity, and will blow him away. Often, this will get him to play straight and prioritise you. If not, it’s no loss. A man with a third wheel is never worth pursuing.

Be happy and positive
Value yourself and your peace of mind. Do not chase happiness outside yourself. Most importantly, try not to give energy to what others think of you; it takes away your power. If you feel good inside, others no longer can control you emotionally. This kind of calm and self-sufficiency is very attractive. Men are used to women who wear their heart on their sleeve and go crazy for the one they can’t control.

Pursue your own dreams
Focus on interests outside the relationship. He can know you care, but doesn’t need to know how much. Men don’t want to compete with other men for your attention, they want to compete for your time because you aren’t waiting for him 24x7. When he can’t control you mentally, or remain invested in your own life, you become much more interesting to share life with.

Heat it up, cool it down!

We tend to associate good sex with heat. We use terms like hot, steamy, scorching, searing when describing memorable sex. On the other hand cold showers, cold shoulders, and cold hearts generally aren’t associated with lustful pursuits.

Here are some hot and cold tips to spin your world on its head!
Bring something cold and hot to bed. That bag of frozen peas may not be ready to be cooked rightaway, but wrap it in a t-shirt and bring it into bed tonight.
- Ice-cubes are always there. Dip them in chocolate or strawberry syrup and enjoy licking it off your partner. You don’t want to use the cold to shock your lover. Be sure to wait until things have hit a rhythm in the sex, and then gently touch a less sensitive part of your partner’s body with the cold. Once they know what’s coming, you can experiment heating things up with your bodies, and then cooling it down with a more sensitively placed cold touch.
To heat things up, you can explore everything from silicone toys and glass toys (both of which retain heat and warm up nicely if you soak them in hot water before using).

Seduce your king tonight

Let your man be the king as you take charge to set the ball rolling for a night full of action.


Remember, more than your technique of seduction, it's your attitude that makes the final cut. What all you really need is to be able to arrest his attention and his body is all yours. You need not be a hot babe to seduce your guy, just try to keep your approach right.

Take the lead
Men love to be dominated in bed. So if not always, then once in a while take up the task of leading the action in bed and initiating the intimacy. If your guy loves to see your wild side then there is no better way than this technique. A house wife says, "I gave my man a surprise call in office and in a passionate voice I whispered that a sexy surprise awaited him at night at home. Then I left a note at the doorstep which declared, 'beware of the tigress' that I wanted him to find minutes before he stepped into the main doorway. I slipped into some revealing, lacy lingerie and lit up the bedroom using fragrant candles, rose petals and some instrumental music. Already expectant with the hints that I had dropped throughout the day, he entered the bedroom with a lot of expectations. My killing looks, a heady embrace and a wet kiss left him breathless and raring to go. I was pleasantly surprised to see my man enjoy me take the lead even in foreplay as I blind-folded him and seduced him." "Men usually take care of their partner's pleasure, but it should be the same for the fairer sex. If we talk about equality in all spheres of life, what's the problem if we expect our partners to be adventurous in bed?"

Tips for steamy sex

Looks have nothing to do with being irresistible in bed. Here's how to notch up your sex appeal


If Brad Pitt is asked to take the 9.55 am local every day, attend back to back meetings, skip lunch owing to work pressure and run errands in the monsoon, there’s all likelihood of his six-pack metamorphosing into a sluggish guy-next-door physique. Each one of us may be a sex God at heart, but very often, looks (we feel) play spoilsport and even before the tricks are out, the (partner’s) mood goes for a toss. High time you take charge and get the oomph score running with these simple tricks.

Dress to undress

The rule of thumb says, ‘The better dressed you are, the easier it is to have your woman undress you.’ To be the alpha male in bed, dress like one out of it. Think about it. If the competition is between a suave sharply dressed, suited man and a dullard who wears an ill-fitted T-shirt and baggy jeans, who do you think will win? Labour (hard) on your fashion quotient and you wouldn’t need to work on the buttons. She will be more than happy to oblige. And that ‘polished’ image will linger on even after you have undressed.
The light matters
There’s a reason why photographers say ‘You look beautiful when the light is right’. The wrong light can make a to-die-for six-pack look positively ghastly, so make sure you use it well. The power-saver white neon bulbs are great. Really. They help conserve energy and we highly respect your ‘Go Green’ attitude. But sadly, they don’t do much to flatter that naked look. For once, switch to gentler yellow lights. Putting them up under lampshades will soften their glow and the flattering light will turn on the heat on your so-so physique.
Body language
When you are gearing up for some action, the last thing you want is a spineless partner crawling around with a disinterested, fallen look on his/ her face. Stand straight, throw back your shoulders and walk like you mean business. Nothing is as strong a turn-on as confidence. Also, the slouched look only accentuates your flat tyres. The correct posture can go a long way to camouflage the series of fat faux pas that are sometimes inevitable. So do yourself a favour and compensate the lack of physical finesse with a dash of attitude.
Aroma therapy
Research claims that a man’s sweat is the most potent turn-on for a woman. While one wouldn’t want to discount that learning, such studies do not exactly hold true in the bedroom. A sweaty stinking you can never be a turn on, no matter what the chemicals say. The Diors and Diesels can give you a hand, but it’s no hard and fast rule. Just make sure you have a shower before you try to get intimate with your partner. A man who smells good, feels good!

Boxers & bras
Ask the marketing guys, and they’ll tell you how crucial packaging is. Point being, do NOT take the easy way out. Make your innerwear work. This is one department where you can have the maximum fun. Get those jock straps out and experiment with cuts and colours. If you are experimental, thongs aren’t that bad an idea (provided you can carry them off). If not, there are boxers — Simpsons, Batman, Popeye, you name it. Knowing what exactly your girl likes helps a great deal. Women have it a lot easier. Knowing the sheer variety of lace and nets out there, there’s enough for every occasion.

Groom for it
A clean groomed look is far more presentable vis-à-vis the hairy disaster men often come with. Yes, some women like their men with hair, but that cannot justify the Amazon on your body. Get bullish in the grooming department and put that trimmer to good use. You are bound to get good dividends after dropping the shirt.
And for your facial hair, either opt for a complete shave, or a two-day stubble at the most. The prickly evening shadow stubble can spell disaster for her skin. Get a flattering haircut to ensure you don’t look sloppy. After all, women (unlike men) like to work their way from the top.

'Sex-facts' you never knew!

Do you believe that your bedroom life is on an all time high, thanks to the immense knowledge you have about sex? Well, we bring you seven never-heard-before facts about the ‘S’ word, which are sure to leave you thinking...

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.
2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.
3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.

4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacteria in the vagina and alters the natural, healthy pH level. The practice can actually lead to the spread of infections in the reproductive organs.

5. Sex with a celebrity is the No. 1 fantasy worldwide. That's according to the recent Durex survey, which also found that four in 10 people have fantasized about sex with their best friend's partner!
6. Believe it – blue balls are for real. The discomfort is caused when more blood flows into the penis than out. The uneven blood flow causes an increase in the volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the penis becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood.
7. It could take eight months for a couple to conceive. So you might not get a baby off the bat, but the wait can be more than worthwhile. At least a year should go by before you fret about your fertility.

Planning to get married? Beware!

If you are planning to get married, beware! Private detectives may be keeping an eye on your past and present.

A detective may be keeping an eye on you With matrimonial websites and agencies now becoming more common,parents are increasingly roping in detective agencies to crosscheck the veracity of claims made by prospective grooms and brides. The "investigations" include whether the to-be groom or bride had any "intimate"relationship with anyone, their activities after working hours, educational background and health.

The trend has been increasing like anything where parents are mostly concerned about prospective match's moral character and relationship status, we need for such hired personnel to verify the credentials of prospective better-halves has increased, he said. "Earlier family friends and neighbours frequently actedas middlemen or mediators in the process of matchmaking. As a result the reliability was high.

The trend of independent verification has increased now with more and more websites and agencies coming into play in the business of matchmaking as their clients are being presented in an attractive manner by hiding vital information.

While a clean professional and personal character is what most parents look for, in many cases they also want to know whether the concerned boy or girl was involved with someone. "Moral behaviour on part of the prospective match is of paramount importance to families, who often seek information regarding activities after working hours.

We put the concerned person under constant surveillance and station people to monitor their hang-out joints and late night destinations. We also monitor their associations with friends of opposite sex to get a reasonable view of their behaviour. Not just that, the detectives, also keep a tab on the number of visits made by the person to his or her doctor. The instances of the surveillance yielding negative results are substantial, adding that 20 to 30 per cent of the people scanned fail to cross the "morality metre". "The percentage is really high, where we find boy or girl still maintaining their past relationships after getting engaged. We generally advice prospective in-laws not to go ahead with the alliance based on our findings.

Ayurveda to boost sex

Sex is one of the most essential aspects of our life and Ayurveda offers one of the best ways to lead a gratifying sex life without any artificial a


Ayurvedic herbs to boost sex driveids such as medicines minus side effects and other unnatural methods. Ayurvedic medicines stimulate the body to heal itself naturally. There are many Ayurvedic herbs which act as very effective sex tonics and also have the ability to revitalise the bodily systems making them free from diseases.

These inexpensive and often rather ordinary looking Ayurvedic herbs produce excellent results if taken properly, as they are also free from any side effects. "On their own however these might not even work for you. He further adds, "In Ayurveda there are three main organising principles of nature that are found in every person, in nature, and in all other beings. These principles operate throughout nature and can be seen in the changes of the time of day and the change of seasons.

These three governing principles are called Vata, Pitta and Kapha doshas and on the basis of these, herbs used in combination deliver satisfactory results. Although adaptogenic herbs (herbs that increase body's resistance to stress, trauma and fatigue ) are similar in concept, each herb is unique and should be chosen with care and under the guidance of a good Ayurvedic practitioner. If we just treat each patient in the same way, then it is not effective. Ayurveda, however, recognises that each person is unique and each person needs to be treated according to the imbalance of their doshas ." What is Vata, Pitta and Kapha ?

Vata is responsible for all movement in the body and controls respiratory organs, circulation, movement in the digestive tract, and impulses traveling through the nerves. Pitta is energy and it regulates the digestive process, metabolism, heat, and energy production, while Kapha balances the fluids.

Each individual is made up of the three doshas , yet in varying degrees. A person with more Vata will be thin, quick, creative, lively in thoughts, speech and action, and can make friends easily. However, if the Vata is out of balance, that person will be anxious, worried, overwhelmed, fretful, have dry skin and high blood pressure. A person with a predominance of Pitta in his physiology will be of medium proportions, with a frame that is neither petite nor heavy. They will have a warm, sensitive skin, fine hair and will be sharp and determined in thought, speech and action.

However, if the Pitta is out of balance, that person can be irritable, angry, demanding, and impatient, prone to skin rashes, premature graying, and thinning of hair. A Kapha-type person is of larger proportions with good muscles. They have thick,smooth skin and rich, wavy hair. They are generous, kind, forgiving, calm, loyal and possess a good memory. Out of balance Kaphas are dull and lethargic, have oily skin, they gain weight, and have a slow digestion. They can become emotionally attached, and suffer from allergies, congestive problems and heart disease

Sexual temptation

It's widely believed that eating chocolates produce certain hormones that are exactly the same as those generated while having sex! Then why eat chocolates? Sex is a better option! While you'd do anything to savour the ultimate joy before, during and after sex, you might not know that there are several food items that can build up the mood, ignite the passion and get you going for a gratifying act in bed.

Aphrodisiacs, as they are commonly referred to, may have some scientific study backing them up, but couples usually select them based on certain preset notions and beliefs. While some feel that they're tempting enough to evoke their erotic senses, for others, aphrodisiacs are an integral part of the foreplay process. When I see melted chocolate, it tempts me a lot and I get a feeling of my partner trying to seduce me in bed.

It's not that I spread chocolate all over her body, but having a bite of chocolate and then kissing her with it in my mouth sets the mood right," shares 29-year old Mr Sharma. Other than chocolate, fruits like strawberries and bananas are also considered to be effective aphrodisiacs. "Of course, you can't think of teasing your partner with a fruit like mango.

Strawberries are small and the heart-shape helps in building the sexual mood, as you can just take half of it in your mouth and let your partner try and bite the remaining half. Also, the soft thorns on the outer layer work well to make my hubby horny," feels cherry. There's a belief that the more a couple sweat it out in bed, the wilder the sex escapade gets. Couples also therefore tend to consume more of chilli peppers to induce sweating. "Eating chicken makes my man sweat a lot and I don't need to add that extra, spicy chilli. In a way, mere chicken acts as an aphrodisiac for me to get him going," shares 32-year old housewife reena. While aphrodisiacs have been doing their rounds since time immemorial, nobody really knows what good they actually do. Read ahead to know more about how they work...

Post delivery sex

Confused as to which between-the-sheets activities are safe after you've spent the last nine months coping with pregnancy stress. Now that your lil’ one is safe and sound, it's time to respond to your intimate physical needs. A study found that for 20% of first time mothers it took six months to feel physically comfortable during sex. The median time was around three months.

Yet, another study revealed that 57% of women were still having less frequent sex 12 months after child birth. Lucy, who has delivered a baby three weeks back says, "recovering from childbirth, hardly sleeping, and answering the demands of breastfeeding often leads to couples neglecting their sexual needs. With the new member needing huge adjustments, it's often difficult for couples to make time for sex in an already packed schedule".

For most women, dealing with their decreased libido is only a temporary change that requires time to resume to normal. Women generally tend to show lack of interest in sex because of fatigue due to childbirth. The time taken by a woman to get back her sexual desire depends largely on her birthing experience. Many women do not desire sex after childbirth because of the pain, or fear of pain.

Women who deliver with the assistance of forceps tend to take longer to feel comfortable during sex. The same goes for women who experience internal vaginal tears.The main reason for avoiding intercourse is to allow the woman's genital tissues to heal, especially if there was an episiotomy or tearing. Avoiding infection is another reason". One should not forget that postpartum sex is more painful if the delivery has been vaginal. Women with swelling after childbirth and/or any breakdown of the perineum (the external region between the vulva and the anus that is made up of skin and muscle) also tend to take longer to feel comfortable during sex.

After delivery, physically, you or your partner may notice a change in the size and shape of a woman's vagina. One should always go for a postpartum re-check, so that your doctor gives you a green signal to indulge in intercourse.The vagina may be drier than normal, especially if the new mother is breast feeding. Ensure that everything has healed and that you take proper precautions for birth control.

I can't tell you the number of women I've seen who come for their postpartum visits and are already pregnant because they didn't think it could happen" Partners should understand that, while a woman's interest for sexual intimacy has returned, other factors, such as lack of sleep, may also affect her emotional interest. So stop pondering on whether you will you ever make love again? Like, everything else in your new and often overwhelming life, it's just a matter of time and a question of patience (especially from your partner, who's almost certainly ready for this dry spell to end). So wait until you're feeling ready, or help yourself get ready with the following helpful pointers:

Nothing spicier than vacation sex

Want to pep up your love life? Well, then all you need to do is plan a ‘vacation’ sex with your partner, for it can do wonders for your heart, mind, and soul, according to a new research. Sex on a holiday allows you to get away from pressures, distractions, worries and responsibilities — basically, any of those libido-killers that affect your love life most days of the year, reports the Daily Telegraph While on vacation, you can totally devote yourself to nurturing your sexual needs and desires — and to attending to those of your lover.

This is one of the reasons the vast majority of marriage counsellors recommend a regular weekend away as the one thing that can help a marriage, especially a struggling one. Vacation is the best place to get ‘sexperimental’. People love having sex in new places. This is in large part because of the neurotransmitter dopamine. When people have new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, triggering lust.

And with that, many are willing to try something new and exciting. In a new, romantic, or exotic place, lovers can rediscover one another. In trying different restaurants or embarking on a variety of nightlife activities, every evening that you’re away feels like a date night, each with its own distinct backdrop. All of this enhances lovers’ moods, helping them to feel better about one another and more connected. When you make the time for nothing but loving, that’s hopefully what you’re going to get – and lots of it.

Sex will breed the desire for more sex, making both partners feel better about their sex life and the relationship. This is both for couples already content with their sex life and those hoping their vacation will make for some romance repair.